Diary of a Mother's Mission

My son, Kevin Martin, disappered under mysterious circumstances in the wee hours of July 18, 2004. His partial remains were found on February 1, 2005 in the river. The Des Moines Police have not been helpful and this is my blog to tell what I have done as it's done.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

The Summer of the White Blouse

Well, what does that mean? The Summer before, 2007 that is, I termed the "Summer of the Big Sweat". That's because it was a much hotter Summer than this year, I thought, and I road my bike back and forth to work everyday. I've never sweat so much in my whole life! I guess I should say perspire. Women perspire, men sweat. So, the "Summer of the White Blouse"? Starting in June I had to start my radiation treatment, 5 days a week, for 6 and a half weeks. I went to the stores and looked for ,and found, some light cotton, pretty, blouses to wear. Blouses that would be easy to slip on and off to replace with those ridiculous hospital gowns. At least we could keep on our bottom half whether it be a skirt or pants. Since I was riding my bike I chose black pants. Pants , but in my case, because of my previous uniform requirements at MTA, were all black. So, I pretty much have all black pants and a lot of them. Black pants and a white blouse. Very stylish and sophisticated, I've always thought, especially on models and tv personalities that are very slim. Well, really, everybody looks crisp and business like in black and white, I think. - And sophisticated, too.

Well, what does this have to do with Kevin? I kept thinking about that and my title, "Summer of the White Blouse'. It kept sticking in my mind for some reason. I got a kick out of it as I did my title from last Summer. But then I started to think about it on a different level. Black and White. What does that mean to me. Probably during my growing up years I was more black and white and immature than most people. One sees things in terms of black and white when, in actuality, most things fall in the gray parameters. Life is gray, most of it, not black and white.

This has bothered me, and always will and why I will always persist when it comes to Kevin. Some things are not gray. There are some things that are black and white, absolutes. The dignity of human life. One doesn't just "drop the ball" when it comes to a young man who is missing and then ends up dead in the Des Moines River. I've been over all of that before. Kevin's life was black and white and he deserved the respect that is accorded some and not others. He is a child of God, as is everyone else. His life was precious and deserved so much more. Appreciation. Recognition. Acknowledgement. All of this has been said before ,too. I believe there are absolutes in this life, some things that are black and white, no gray, and Kevin, and Kevin's situation is one of them. He deserved so much more and got pushed aside.

The "Summer of the White Blouse' is over, for now, hopefully not to be repeated (the trips to the hospital) but it came with a new sense of clarity and resolve. Kevin Russell Martin


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