Diary of a Mother's Mission

My son, Kevin Martin, disappered under mysterious circumstances in the wee hours of July 18, 2004. His partial remains were found on February 1, 2005 in the river. The Des Moines Police have not been helpful and this is my blog to tell what I have done as it's done.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


I wasn't planning to visit the library today. Here I am after a lapse of over a month. I couldn't think of a title but if I didn't put something down, they would, you know, the computer system, would make the beginning of my first sentence the "title". Actually, that probably would have been okay. I wasn't planning!

This morning when I came out of my house at a few minutes to 6, on my way to work, I looked up at the stars. Something that I try to do frequently but like everything else, gets pushed to the side. It seems so much of the time we have too many other things on our minds to stop and smell the roses or look up and get lost in the stars. I paid attention this morning. They captured my attention as I looked toward the East as one of the planets was right above the horizon and very bright. It was a beautiful morning, cooler than it has been, and clear. Not as clear and crisp as it gets in the late Fall or Winter but such an improvement from the hot, humid weather we've had almost all Summer and the hazy conditions in the sky. Not good for star gazing.

Almost two years ago when I arrived back in Des Moines I was driving in to the bus garage from the East side, as I did everyday, and watched a star on the western horizon. I watched it every evening as I was returning from my afternoon run which finished shortly after dusk. I'm sure it was the atmospheric conditions but the star, a very bright one, most likely the planet Jupiter or Venus, and so not really a star, looked to me to be a beautiful little cross in the sky. I say little cross but as it was low on the horizon and so appeared much larger it was rather prominent. I kept looking at it thinking my eyes were playing tricks on me... but it was very definitely a cross. There have been many times since then, yes, the atmosphere or moisture in the atmosphere causing this, where I looked around and all the lights in the city, red and white alike, shone like little crosses.

How our perception's and awareness's and interests change as we experience the loss of our loved ones. I've been interested in astronomy for many many years and took it in school. I've been looking up in the sky for more years than I will admit to and never experienced that phenomenon until two years ago! At one time getting lost in the stars gave me the only reprieve from continual feelings of grief and sadness that I had, and I guess it still does. It is so comforting and gives hope to look up into a beautiful fathomless sky.

And I label this one bright star that appears to me as a cross in the sky, Kevin's Star.


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